Hurt
by enits3
Summary: Post 2.03 - a little peek inside Sam's head - my imaginary version .


**I owe SoWritten a _HUGE_ thank you for all the help I got with this - so I'm dedicating this to her :) (Hopefully she doesn't regret her offer to beta read for me) *LOL***

**Also; thank you to whoever nominated my 'Turning Tables' for the Rookie Choice RB Awards!**

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His eyes scanned the bar, downing a shot every time they landed on _her_. He was alone, safely in his seat, accompanied by a bottle of Scotch. Playing a drinking game he'd just invented; I have never... And in this case he _actually_ never had. _Almost_, but it had just slipped through his fingers. _She_ had slipped through his fingers.

That was _partly_ his fault, but mostly _she _was the one to blame.

_She_ had betrayed him, made her way under his skin against his will. Partly anyways, and deep down he knew she _knew_ it. Still that didn't stop her from giving him her secret smile, laughing at his lame jokes and making his coffee just the way _he_ liked it.

_Andy McNally is a tease._

He didn't mind, and that's what bothered him the most_._ He actually liked it, hell, he loved it. Until their day was over and it all fell back to _normal _that was_._

She was like a wound on his skin, a scab _both of them_ never left alone long enough to heal and she was becoming a permanent mark on his skin. A scar.

It wouldn't be so bad, if she'd been his. The fact that she wasn't bothered him more than it should.

His eyes found her again, and another shot of Scotch found its way down his throat. He clutched his fingers around the small glass like he was holding on for his life.

He was well aware that you shouldn't drink Scotch like you was in a hurry and he knew he was being stupid.

But Andy McNally _made_ him do stupid things. Stupid things like falling in love with a woman who's heart belonged to someone else. Hell, she was _engaged_. Engaged!

The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. He grabbed the bottle of Scotch that was standing in front of him and poured another shot, he didn't even bother to put the cap back on. The bitter taste in his mouth was washed away with the burning liquid, only to return after a few seconds.

Him trying to drown _whatever this was_ with Scotch had become a habit lately. Good thing he chose the cheapest bottle Liam had to offer, or else he would have declared bankruptcy by now.

He wanted to tell her to fuck off when she came to stand next to him. He also wanted to tell her all the shit he had kept inside him for the past year and a half.

He wanted to tell her he _loved_ her. He drowned the threat of letting those words slip with another shot.

"Hi." her soft, but to him also very annoying, voice reaching his ears caused him to frown. Her voice _always_ sent a shiver down his spine. No matter what tone she used, they all had an effect on him.

_Stupid_ things.

He lifted his chin in acknowledgement, because he couldn't trust his voice around her with the amount of alcohol running through his blood. If he did speak, this could easily turn into a _very_ embarrassing and pathetic love declaration.

"That's going to be one _huge_ mistake."

She pointed her finger at the now empty shot glass and then to the half full bottle of Scotch. She furrowed her brows at the bottle, probably because she recognized the cheap label. He felt guilty, he _knew_ why.

"_My_ mistake." he growled. His voice sounded like it hadn't been used in years.

Truth was; _she_ was his mistake. A mistake he wanted to call _his_, a mistake he wanted to feel beneath him, a mistake he wanted to take home every night and wake up with every morning.

_Stupid_ things.

The expression of hurt on her face caused his heart to wrench, but before he could fix it, because he really _hated_ the things _that_ look did to him, she was gone.

"Don't blame _me_ when you have the world's _worst_ hangover tomorrow."

He failed to hide his snort by her words. Oh, he was going to blame her alright, because the world's worst hangover, to him, was _her_. A permanent hangover that made its appearance the day she tackled him in that alley.

No Advil's were strong enough to cure _that_ hangover.

In all honesty; he hated that _he _hurt her, but the feeling of being hurt himself was something he despised. Because _she_ hurt _him_ every day.

When what he considered the luckiest man on earth, universe maybe, walked in, the pain on her face was lost on him.

Hah, jealous of Luke Callaghan.

Yeah, _really_ stupid things.

He threw back two shots in a row in a desperate attempt to erase the sight of their kiss and his arm around her shoulder as he led her out of the bar. She glanced over her shoulder before she disappeared through the door. With a sad smile on her lips and the look in her eyes he _knew_ she only kept for him.

_Andy McNally – a tease_.

Another shot followed the others down his throat. He slammed down the glass and grinned. It wasn't a grin of joy, more a grin that masked his pain. The pain of heartbreak. She broke his heart at least once a day. _At least_. Every day.

His eyes scanned the bar once again. All of a sudden he felt as if he was looking in a mirror. The same look of hurt he knew his eyes showed. But the eyes in the mirror were hazel and belonged to a blonde detective. She caught his eye and tilted her head towards the door. One eyebrow raised, suggestively, and a slight smirk on her lips. The same kind of smirk that was masking his pain.

He threw some cash on the bar, made a drunken attempt to get to his feet and stumbled his way towards the backdoor. With the bottle of Scotch in his hand, he followed her out.

Tonight he was going to pretend his life depended on him forgetting her deep brown eyes, her long soft brown hair, her beautifully tanned skin that smelled far too good for him to be around as much as he was.

There's one thing he's sure of; Andy McNally _is going to be the death of him._

Tonight he was going to down his heartache in hazel brown eyes, blonde hair and pale skin. God, it made him feel like an idiot. But he knew he _needed_ it and so did she.

If _she_ could go home with the _wrong_ man every night then he could go home with the _wrong_ woman.

Yes, Andy McNally _makes_ him do _stupid_ things.

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_Thanks for reading and don't be afraid to share your thoughts :)_


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